Everyone has Bad Days
by tic tac toe 03
Summary: For now he's just the only person in her life who she knows she can talk too. Set between 2x01 and 2x02. Sybil/Branson


**Everyone has Bad Days**

**Disclaimer; I own nothing (sadly) **

**Set after 2x01 after Sybil returns from York but before their interactions in 2x02**

"Branson." Her voice matches her face; both speaking of exhaustion and misery and he glances at her in the mirror wanting nothing more than to wrap her in his arms and to make her happy again.

"Milady?" He takes care to speak gently without any of the anger that has been filling his voice since she rejected him weeks earlier.

"Can you stop for a moment please; I want to get some air before dinner and I know they're expecting me back much later so I won't be missed." Sybil's leaning her head against the window and keeping her eyes carefully away from him as she has done ever since her return from York.

"Of course." He brings the car to smooth stop just off the road and moves from his seat so he can open her car door.

"Thank you." She slides out surprisingly taking his offered hand which she hasn't taken since their awkward parting at her nurse's training. She looks slightly better standing before him in the fresh air looking more awake than she did when he picked her up from the hospital minutes earlier.

"Is everything alright?" He asks tentatively; he never used to have to worry about speaking to her in the correct way that their stations require but things haven't been quite the same between them for a while.

She looks up and meets his eyes for the first time in months and he's startled by the anguished look in them. She opens her mouth to lie to him but there must be something in him that releases something in her for instead of telling him she's fine she bursts into tears.

He panics. He's never been good with crying people especially if there are a load of rules dictating how they should behave around each other whatever the circumstances but then again neither of them have ever paid much attention to the social rules of society.

She sags forwards and instinctively his arms go around her seconds after hers slide around his neck. They stand like that for a moment as she sobs against his chest and he rubs her back soothingly resting his chin on the top of her head. For a second he allows himself to dream that she's not crying and they're standing like this simply because they can, because they're together.

She draws back slightly and he's forced to abandon the daydream and instead clings to the fact that she's still holding him tightly. "I'm sorry." She shakes her head slightly and bites her lip. "You must think me awfully pathetic."

"Not at all." He reassures her holding her gaze and taking one hand off her waist to wipe away the tears still sliding down her cheeks. They both know he's overstepping his boundaries but neither of them can find it in themselves to care.

"It's just that I…" She swallows heavily and leans her head against his chest again. "I saw a man die today." She eventually rushes out further sobs wracking her body. He holds her against him and as her legs give way beneath her he drops down to sitting on the grass verge; Sybil curling up in his lap clutching at him tightly.

"I'm sorry." He strokes her hair trying to offer as much comfort as he can. "I'm so sorry Sybil." He mentally kicks himself for forgetting to use her title but she doesn't seem to notice as her sobs quieten.

"Dr Clarkson said there was nothing to be done but what if there was. What if I could have done something Tom?" He feels slightly better that she too has forgotten all the rules they live by and calls him by his first name, which he wasn't even aware she knew.

He strokes her hair again as he searches for the right words aware of how important what he is about to say his. "You can't save everyone. You already did so much for him just by nursing him this far. You do so much for all of them."

She looks up at him and he's relieved to see she's stopped crying. "Thank you." She whispers softly pressing her lips against his cheek. He blushes slightly at the gesture and then at the same time they both realise the position they're in.

"Sorry." They apologise at the same time as she scrambles away from him and he pulls himself to his feet. There's an awkward moment as neither knows what to do next and it's Sybil who breaks it not sure whether Tom genuinely doesn't know what to say or if he's letting her take the lead in an effort to revert back to the social play they should be following.

"Does it look like I've been crying?" She asks and he's grateful for an excuse to look at her. Her cheeks are slightly tearstained and her eyes red and so he nods reluctantly. She sighs and scrubs hard at her face. "Now?"

He can't resist smiling at her. "Not really milady; you're going to want to wash your face. There's some water in the car do you want some?" She nods gratefully and he leaves her standing on the side of the road, which thankfully no one would drive down unless they're coming to Downton, and grabs the flask of water from the front seat and digs in his pocket for his handkerchief.

"Thank you." She smiles tentatively at him as he hands it to her and turns away to wash her face. It has to be one of the most awkward experiences she's had in her life as she pours water onto his handkerchief and then scrubs at her face trying not to get water on her uniform and shoes. Eventually she feels no more can be done and wipes at her face with her own handkerchief before turning back to face him.

He's leaning against the car door staring ahead at the woods in front of them evidently lost in his own thoughts about what she's not entirely sure. She coughs slightly and he starts turning his gaze back to her and takes his handkerchief and the flask from her. "Home?" He drops her title but doesn't replace it with anything else; she finds herself wishing he would.

"Please." She climbs back into the car without any assistance and he jumps back into the front seat moving away from the roadside as smoothly as he stopped there. "I'm sorry I unleashed all that on you." she breaks the silence seconds after they pull away. "It's just that I can't, not at home; they'll ask too many questions and worry and then try and persuade me that nursing is too much for me and I should stop."

"Don't worry about it" He meets her eyes in the mirror again and for a moment it feels like before the war when they used to catch each others' eyes frequently. "We all have bad days; that doesn't mean what we're doing isn't good for us."

"I knew you'd understand." She sighs in relief smiling properly for the first time that day and she looks a lot better than he's seen her for a while.

"I do." He nods and she wonders if that's maybe partly why she broke in front of him and not when curled up in bed alone. Not that it was a conscious decision but she probably would have been able to hold back if it had been anyone else.

"Milady." Tom's voice breaks into her thoughts and she realises that they're back at Downton; Mr Carson standing on the front step awaiting her return. She lets him open her door and takes his hand again as she climbs down partly due to the presence of the butler but partly so she can squeeze his hand as a way of thank you, speaking what words at that moment can't.

It's much later after dinner when she slips out of the drawing room muttering something about being tired from her days work but instead of treading the familiar path to her room she slips down to the garage where he's sitting on the car step reading his newspaper.

He remains sitting as she approaches but smiles at her. "Is everything alright?" He looks concerned and finally stands as she moves in front of him.

"Yes thank you." She nods nervously looking down at her hands and then takes the plunge. "Branson would you mind not telling anyone about what happened this afternoon." He nods well aware that he would lose his job if anyone knew and that she knows this.

She notices his confusion and carries on swiftly before he can say anything. "And can we not talk about it again." She offers no explanation as to why but he knows. The aristocracy take a great care not to show their emotions to anyone including their family and she's not an exception whatever he might wish.

"Of course." He nods and she smiles gratefully at him.

"Thank you." She doesn't seem to know what to do after this and so turns to go.

"You know you can talk to me." His voice catches her unaware and she stops keeping her back to him as she considers how to respond to him.

"I do Branson." She tries to keep her voice light and free of the confusion of emotions she feels whenever she's with him. "Thank you." It doesn't work and she's pretty sure that he can hear the conflict in her voice.

But he says nothing and lets her go. As she turns the corner to return back to the house she catches a glimpse of him watching her with such intense emotions written across his face that she banishes the image of him from her mind until much later in the war when she finally allows herself to consider her feelings for him.

For now he's just the only person in her life who she knows she can talk too.

**Thank you for reading; please leave your thoughts!  
>Tacxx<strong>


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